Make Me Laugh
by mochafraptor
Summary: "Make me laugh." That was how it started. And really, when you're extremely wealthy and powerful employer tells you to do something, what else are you supposed to do? BBRAE. Rated because swearing, probably.
1. An Odd Request

"Make me laugh."

That's how it started. One day, maybe a week after he got the job, she just turned to him, and in her dry monotone, practically commanded he tell a joke. Logan was bewildered at first, but a quick glance confirmed that it _was_ really happening. The others were just as surprised. Kori was sitting across from him in the stretched limousine, the scheduler and clipboard in her hands all but forgotten as her eyes darted between the two of them. He could see Victor and Dick in the front, looking back at them through the rearview mirror. Yes, the situation was as strange to them as it was to him. He looked back at his employer, and her strangely colored eyes, gazing at him intently.

 _Raven_ wanted _him_ to make her _laugh_.

Now, Logan didn't have any problems making jokes. He liked to think he was pretty damn good at it in fact. But this was Raven Roth, CEO of Azarath International. Beautiful, intelligent, and mind-bogglingly rich didn't come close. She and the company were literally worth _billions_. Her poise and grace were unparalleled as well. Rumors and gossip surrounded her like a cloud of gnats, but she strode through, unnoticing and unperturbed. More than anything else, her stoicism was legendary. Logan didn't think he'd ever seen her smile, let alone laugh.

However, when you're exceedingly wealthy and powerful boss orders you to do something, you really only have one option.

"U-um." He stuttered, reaching a hand up to rub the back of his neck. He needed only a moment to come up with a joke, despite his nervousness. It was arguably one of his best, and worst, qualities. "What's the difference between a hippo, and a zippo?"

He waited a beat.

"One is really heavy, and the other's a little lighter."

The ensuing silence was deafening and the seconds ticked by like hours. Raven hadn't seemed to react at all. Weirder still, her gaze hadn't left him. He glanced at the others beseechingly, but they looked about as confused as he felt.

"Hm." Was all she offered in response, before turning back to Kori. "Kori, please move my four thirty meeting back to five o'clock, and schedule in a call at four with our associates in AEI Enterprises."

They pulled up in front of a huge skyscraper, Azarath HQ it was colloquially known, and before the limo had fully stopped Logan was out of the car, jogging around to open her door. Raven got out, continuing with Kori about her schedule. Logan went to open the glass door of the building, still reeling from what he could only assume was some sort of test. Did he pass? Fail? There was a lot going unexplained here.

"Logan."

Her voice cut through the chatter buzzing in his head, and he gave her his attention. "Yes, Ms. Roth?"

"It's almost lunch." She said, half turned back towards him as she stood a few feet into the lobby. "Pick up something suitably small for me. Italian. I'll also need tea, chai ginseng with honey. I expect it all by noon."

"Yes, of course, right away." He replied instantly, committing the list to his memory. "Do you require anything else?"

She looked up for a second.

"Tart cake." She answered, glancing back at him. "Yes, a slice of tart cake."

"I'll have it all to you right away."

Raven gave a nod, then continued towards the elevators with Kori and Richard. Logan stepped back from the door out onto the sidewalk, letting it close on its own. Pulling out his phone, he saw the time read 11:07. She was giving him less than an hour to find a place, order the food, and bring it back to her in her office. Another test?

"Seriously, what the fuck."

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*Unhinged laughter* Sure brain, why not? What's another story, pile it on.


	2. Crossword

Guest1 & Guest2 – LOL right? Didn't notice until I already uploaded it.

I-scream-for-bbrae – Thanks! It's so awesome that you at least look at everything that I write, I can't tell you how happy it makes me that I have a group of faithful readers. I have to say that you definitely feature prominently among them.

Dark Azarathian – Awesome! Of all the ideas for stories that passed through my mind that day, this is the only one that had some traction. Glad you enjoyed it!

Golem XIV – Sorry, not sorry.

Foamsatmouth – I know, all right! I know! I'm typing as best as I can, okay, so stop staring at me! Just stop!

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There was always something to do. As Raven's assistant and gofer, his tasks included bringing her food, making sure she had a selection of tea on hand, running her dry-cleaning, coordinating with Kori to facilitate the incredibly busy schedule she kept, and basically any other errand Raven might ask for. He was at her beck and call, and therefore, Logan was constantly on the move.

And then there would come a moment, seemingly at random, where she would turn to him and say,

" _Make me laugh."_

At which point he would supply a joke.

" _What do you call a dog that does magic? A 'labracadabrador'."_

Or something to that effect. Raven would make that ambiguous little _'Hm'_ noise in her throat, then continue on like nothing had happened. He didn't exactly know how to take that, but he hadn't been fired yet, so that had to be a good sign, right? It was just another part of his job now, in any case.

After he got over the initial shock, Logan started branching out with his jokes, trying to incorporate her in them. She was unexpectedly accommodating to the convention too. If he said 'knock knock', she'd answer 'who's there', so he was able to do most classic types of comedy without too much difficulty. He made sure to stay well away from crude or inappropriate humor. As odd as this was, she was still his boss, and a lady, so there were certain things that were to be avoided as a matter of course.

He arrived at her door a little sweaty, and a little out of breath. Checking his brand-new watch, a gift from his adoptive mother, he saw the time on it read 7:25 AM. Barely a few minutes early, but he managed to make it. Logan took a moment to collect himself, making sure he had everything in order. Three large insulated paper cups fitted into one of those disposable cupholder trays were held in his left hand, one for Raven, one for Kori, and one for himself, while his other hand held a paper bag. He had called to ask if Dick or Vic wanted something as well, but they usually got their own breakfast and drinks. Good thing too, because Logan didn't think he could've handled transporting five drinks without catastrophic failure.

Carefully, he shifted the bag to hold in his left hand as well, then reached out to knock on the door. It opened before he made contact, revealing a smiling Kori in a black and white polka dot blouse, and flowing bright red skirt.

"Oh good, you're here!" She said, opening the door wider and gesturing for him to enter. "I'm just stepping out to make a call, but go inside. Ms. Raven should be waiting in the kitchen area."

Logan hesitated. He hadn't actually been inside Raven's apartment before. But the redheaded girl didn't wait for him to answer, and instead took out her phone and started typing in a number. A few questions ran through his mind as he watched her walking down the hall, but she was already speaking into the phone. With a shrug, and a little apprehension, Logan stepped through the door.

It was a luxury apartment in the purest sense, and with extra emphasis on _luxury_. The first thing he noticed was that it had a breathtaking view of the city, with nothing really obstructing the view that looked out over the buildings clear to the ocean. The next thing he noticed was a flight of stairs to a second level, which he assumed held the bedrooms and bathrooms. Walking in a little more, he entered a sitting area, reasonably outfitted with elegantly simplistic furniture. Boxy leather chairs were arranged on one side of a circular stained coffee table positioned in the center of the room, while on the other side was a low, dark brown felt couch. Throughout the room where her various pieces of art and sculpture, no doubt famous. The palette of colors in the open room was simple, mostly black and white with reserved hues of blue, gray, and purple. The whole place spoke of sophistication and class, and he was only just able to keep his jaw from dropping. It really put him in awe, the difference between this lifestyle and his. His own apartment was nothing like this place.

Well, his _old_ apartment anyway. Another weird thing about this job was that he had been required to move to a different apartment. One in this very building in fact. While spacious, and definitely a few steps up from his previous residence, it was nowhere near this level of high-class taste. Especially with his boxes of clothes, posters, old comics, action figures, and other nerdy paraphernalia filling various rooms, and even the hall.

"You're late."

He found Raven in the kitchen, wearing a sleek black business dress, and sitting at a table on one side of a counter where the room let out onto the balcony. She hadn't lifted her eyes from the newspaper she was reading, so he took the chance to glance at his watch again. 7:30 AM, exactly on time. Was she messing with him?

"My apologies, Ms. Roth. Won't happen again." He replied evenly, not sure what to think. "I have your breakfast; one plain bagel with cream cheese, a cinnamon twist, and caramel black tea with a splash of cream and a scoop of honey."

As he said this he went over to her kitchen, placing everything onto the counter, and began searching for plates and silverware. It took a second for him to find everything, but he quickly went about setting her meal on a small dish before he brought it over. He placed everything on the table next to her, and then stepped back. She took her drink in her hand, and cautiously took a sip without looking up from the newspaper. She nodded, apparently satisfied.

Logan looked about, entirely unsure what to do with himself. Now that his first task of the day was done, he was usually sent out to do the next thing immediately, but that was normally at Azarath. The limousine had been delayed this morning however, and he had been waiting in the lobby with the food when Kori had called him up. In the private residence, and by himself in the presence of his admittedly terrifying employer, he felt incredibly out of place.

"Is there…" He asked, uncertain. "Anything else I can do?"

"No." She replied tersely.

He adjusted his weight to one side, clenched and unclenched his hands before putting them in his pockets. He took them out of his pockets a second later, realizing that it wasn't very professional. Checked his watch a third time. Clenched and unclenched his hands again. Shifted his weight back to the other side.

A quiet sigh drew his attention back to the only other person in the room.

"Sit down." Raven said, pointing to the chair on the opposite side of the table from her without looking up.

He glanced at the seat, anxious. Had he upset her? That would just be typical, not even two days into his second week and Logan was already digging his own grave.

"Ms. Roth, I'm sorry if I –"

" _Sit._ " She said again, looking up to meet his eyes.

He gulped, and walked over to the table, sitting down stiffly. Raven regarded him the entire time, and continued to watch him as he stared at the table, trying to keep his face from going red. Finally, she looked down at her paper again.

"The first in the series of cinematic films featuring protagonists with the surname Skywalker."

Logan looked up, surprised. "I-I'm sorry?"

The pale woman tapped the paper before her. "Eight letters across, fifth letter H."

He blinked as he registered what she'd said. Crossword. She's doing a crossword puzzle.

"A New Hope." Logan answered.

"Hm." Taking a pen he hadn't noticed before, Raven nodded as she wrote in the letters. "Thank you."

"Not at all." He replied, his nervousness dissipating a little bit with this humanizing activity.

So. She likes crosswords.

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Decided I'm probably only going to do micro updates for this story, see if that's a bit better for my writing frequency. Let me know what you think!


	3. Unexpected visitor

Guest – will do!

Dark Azarathian – thanks! I ended up looking at luxury apartments on Google images for some inspiration. Yes she's a bit of a tough nut to crack but I wouldn't feel too bad for Gar. If anyone can do it, he can. As for the Star Wars thing, I don't know maybe? Maybe not?

I-scream-for-bbrae – yeah I know! Her reactions are so ambiguous it could go either way! Writing the awkwardness was pretty easy, considering how awkward I am myself. And I don't know, _did_ she know that he would know?

Bearhow – is Gar as screwed as he seems to be? Raven is so reserved and controlled, it's hard to tell what she thinks about almost anything.

Golem XIV – it could just be coincidence. But what would it mean if Raven was looking into a particular employee's life?

RATTLEHEAD414 – glad I could save the day? Lol

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Logan sighed gratefully as he sank into the seat, finally afforded a brief moment's rest while Raven sat in her meeting, and he fully appreciated it. He slouched maybe a little too much, but the only other person around was Kori, who giggled at his exaggerated relief. And it really was a rather comfortable chair for a corporate waiting area.

"I like this job, but man!" He said. "It's only been a month, and I'm already starting to feel tired."

"You're doing much better than the last person." She replied with an encouraging smile. "He barely made it to the end of his second week before he quit."

"He probably didn't realize how much he'd be running around. Literally." Logan grinned ruefully. "There's a surprising amount of cardio for an office job."

Kori nodded. "Yes, Ms. Raven is rather demanding, not just of us, but of herself as well." She paused, placing a thoughtful finger on her chin. "She does seem to rely on you more heavily than with previous assistants though."

Upon hearing this , Logan sat up a little straighter. "So, is that a good sign or bad sign?"

"It's a good sign. Until she fires you." Kori joked. "Then it was a bad sign."

"Har har."

Even though they were joking about it, he was relieved that she more or less confirmed that he wasn't fucking up. He'd been worried because of two things. One, he usually did mess something up, and two, well… To put it frankly, Raven was nearly impossible to read. She'd give him a task, he'd do it, and then she would 'hm' indifferently. Cryptic as ever. He'd be lying if he said a part of him wasn't a little (okay, a lot) intrigued by the whole aloof and mysterious woman bit, but by and large it was just frustrating.

Logan stood up suddenly, his restlessness getting the better of him. The seemingly boundless energy he possessed was probably why he felt so in his element with this job.

"Do you want some coffee or something?" He asked Kori, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. "I think I'm gonna run and get a cup."

"Yes, thank you."

"Any cream or sugar?"

"Lots of both please."

He snapped his fingers and pointed at her, earning another giggle. "You got it." He grinned before walking off.

Still smiling as he made his way to the break room, Logan decided he liked Kori. She was cheery, pretty, and smiled as much as he did, plus the shy and subtle way she flirted with Dick was cute. It was unfortunate that Raven's bodyguard was so thickheaded, even though it was painfully obvious that he fancied her as well. Though maybe thick headedness wasn't his problem, and awkwardness was. Logan snickered to himself as he got two paper cups and filled them with coffee. Maybe after he settled into his apartment a little more, he'd give the guy a little friendly advice. He mused to himself about how he could tactfully play the matchmaker while he added cream and sugar to both drinks.

A minute or two later, he was walking back to the lounge area where Kori waited, beverages in hand. On his way, he passed the conference room where Raven's meeting was being held. Through the glass wall he could see his employer, one arm propped on the table where she sat, her hand elegantly curled underneath her chin as she watched the presentation being given. Her beauty was undeniable, even in the common setting. Today she wore a light gray turtleneck with a black pencil skirt, and calf length boots. Her black hair was cut in an asymmetrical bob so that the right side was longer than the left. It framed her face perfectly, highlighting her porcelain skin. Logan wondered idly if she knew just how entrancing she was.

Then, almost as if she could sense him, Raven turned slowly, and returned his gaze evenly. Caught standing in the middle of the hall, Logan panicked, momentarily at a loss at what to do. He quickly remembered the drinks in his hands though, and raised them slightly, silently asking if she wanted one as well. A moment passed before she gave a barely perceptible shake of her head, and turned back. Bullet dodged, Logan breathed a little easier and quickly continued walking back. He should probably refrain from ogling his boss in broad daylight.

When he returned to the sitting area, he saw Kori sitting across from someone he didn't quite recognize. He was tall, impeccably dressed in a tailored, plum colored suit, with platinum blonde hair. As he drew closer, he saw the man's face was sharp and angled in an admittedly attractive way and he possessed startling blue eyes. Despite all that, there was something oddly… reptilian about the man's features that was offputting.

"Oh!" Kori exclaimed, waving him over when she saw Logan approaching. "Logan, I don't believe you've met Mr. Drayce."

"Please, call me Malcolm." The man cut in, standing and offering his hand to Logan with a smile.

Logan quickly put the drinks down on the nearby table before extending his own hand, and giving the stranger a firm handshake. "It's nice to meet you."

"You're Raven's new hireling." Malcolm said, smiling brightly.

Logan's own smile faltered by a fraction, and he scrunched his brow slightly in confusion. "I'm… sorry?"

"Excuse me, her new _assistant_. I've heard _such_ good things. She sends you to do dry-cleaning, yes?"

"Among other things." He let go of the man's hand, not sure what to make of the direction this conversation was headed. "I do whatever Ms. Roth requires."

Malcolm looked at him up and down appraisingly. "Well I have to say I'm surprised you're still here. It's already been, what, three weeks? Most of the people in your position aren't quite up to snuff, and quit by the end of the fifth day."

"A month actually." Logan shrugged. "This isn't so bad, and I'm not much of a quitter anyway. What about you?"

"I do various things here and there, but mostly I'm on the board of directors." Malcolm replied with a hint of condescension.

"Sounds important."

"Thank you."

A weird feeling crawled up the back of his neck as he spoke with Malcolm. It almost felt like he was being confronted, but over what and why, he hadn't a clue. Still, Logan bristled at the challenge implicit in the undertone. The guy was handsome to the point that it was almost gross. Honestly, could anyone's cheekbones be _that_ defined? They had to be implants or something. Luckily, their conversation was halted before Logan could bare his teeth. The sound of Raven's heels could be heard approaching from the hall behind him, so he turned around to greet her. She was reading something in some sort of binder that she held, and didn't stop walking until she was right in front of the both of them.

Raven looked up, meeting Logan's eyes first before turning to the other man. "Malcolm? What are you doing here?" She asked, her normal monotone tinted by a modicum of surprise.

Malcolm smiled, and stepped closer to her. "I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by. I wanted to make sure our dinner plans were still on for tonight."

"They are." Raven replied. "Eight o'clock, yes?"

"Correct." Malcolm leaned forward then, and placed a light kiss on her cheek. "I'll see you later then."

Needless to say, Logan was thoroughly astounded. He had no idea that Raven was seeing anyone. It was all he could do to keep himself from showing his surprise, and gaping as he watched Malcolm saunter off. As it was, his eyebrows were already reaching dangerous altitudes. He turned towards Kori, seeking an explanation, but all she did was mouth the words _I'll explain later_. Turning back towards Raven, he found her watching him within an inscrutable expression.

"How was the meeting?" He asked to fill the awkward silence that had suddenly settled upon them.

"Fine." She turned and sat in the seat he'd been sitting in before. "Kori, what's next on the schedule?"

The redhead took a moment to flip through the scheduler she was holding. "You have a call set for one fifteen, so there's a little time to rest." She informed Raven.

"Good." Raven said, seeming to relax a little more in her chair.

Logan sat down as well, confused by his conversation with Malcolm. What was that guy's problem? While he hadn't been openly hostile, it felt like he'd been sizing Logan up to square off against him. Scratching his head, he tried to remember if he had ever met Malcolm before, but he was sure he would definitely remember someone like him.

"Logan."

He looked up from where he'd been staring at the ground to see Raven looking at him intently.

"Make me laugh."

A grin spread across his face easily. He had a pretty good one today.

"Did I ever tell you how I was once in so much debt that I couldn't pay the electricity bill?" He asked her. Raven gave a slow shake of her head. "It was probably the darkest time in my life."

Raven held his gaze, then blinked. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes, seeming to relax back into the seat. "Hm."

Briefly, he thought he saw the corner of her mouth quirk up, but decided it must've been a trick of the light.

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This story is really just an excuse so I can tell bad jokes. I love it.


	4. You're not the delivery guy…

Golem XIV – that's good, no one likes an unhappy reader.

Dragonofelder – yeah, I generally don't need an excuse, but I had to come up with this story in order to post them on this site.

bearhow – bad jokes are great, Raven is cute, and Gar is already better than Malcolm.

Guest – I mean, that's not… untrue.

Guest – there's more where that came from!

Princess0Bunny – _you're_ great.

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"Logan."

"Ms. Roth?"

Logan had to be dreaming. Dreaming or hallucinating. Of this he was certain, because there was no way that multi-billionaire Raven Roth was standing at his door holding _pizza_. No way, no how.

The last thing he expected to see when he answered the door, three drinks in on a Friday night, was his boss in a dark green cardigan, gray shirt, black leggings, and flats. Technically, as her personal assistant he was basically on call 24/7. They told him as much when he got the job, and it was why he had moved to a new apartment in the same building as Raven's. However, while she did sometimes make requests at odd hours, in the three months he had worked for her, she had never asked for anything on the weekend. And she had _definitely_ never been down to his apartment before either. He hadn't even thought that she was aware he lived in the same building, let alone knew his actual floor and door number. Glancing down, Logan tried not to grimace at his fluffy bunny slippers, jeans, and Team Starfox t-shirt. Work-appropriate attire, they were not.

"Is this…" She raised the boxes in her hands. "Your dinner?"

"Huh?" He blinked, then hurried to take the food from her. "Y-yeah! Sorry, yeah. What, um, what happened to the delivery guy?"

Raven arched an eyebrow slightly, obviously taking in his more flustered tone. Logan couldn't help it, her unexpected appearance had thrown him way off balance, and the alcohol that was starting to affect his system wasn't helping.

"Gone." She replied. "I was about to knock on your door when he arrived. He gave me your food and left. He said you already paid, so it was okay. He seemed in a hurry."

Somewhere in the back of his mind Logan made a mental note to call Greg, before refocusing on trying to wrap his mind around the situation at hand. "Why are– you didn't have to–"

He waved with the pizza boxes aimlessly, words crashing together in his head as he fumbled about. "I mean, I have a… phone?" He finished lamely.

"I know. You didn't pick up." Another arched eyebrow.

" _Right_. Right." Logan mentally kicked himself. He probably left it on the kitchen counter after ordering. Like an _idiot_. "How can I, um, help you?"

"I was reviewing some of the work from earlier, and there are a few documents at the office I requi–"

"Gar!" A voice interrupted from inside his apartment. "Where's the food!?"

"Yeah! We're hungry!" Another added.

His face flushed with color. Raven showing up at his door, his increasingly drunk and rowdy friends in his living room, and the use of his nickname, all at the same time. It was like the world suddenly decided it hated him.

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Cliffhanger! Actually, I wanted to avoid cliffhangers for this fic, but then I started writing this chapter, and end up getting to 2000 words, which is way longer than I wanted, so I chopped it up. Which I may end up doing with my other stories just so I can update them faster, because I just realized it's been like, six months since I updated Chaotic Neutral…


	5. The trouble with friends and text groups

Iara Raven – obviously! I don't plan on stopping any of my stories.

Guest – yeah, and surprisingly easy to come up with ideas for. Or maybe I'm just growing as a writer. Either way.

xzxzxzx – I'm trying to update at the end of every week, but I end up writing more than I intend to. Upside, more material equals more chapters. Downside, I have to edit more, and spend more time making sure everything makes sense.

Golem XIV – sure seems that way, but hey, who knows?

Dream synopsis – I'm working on everything, I swear! I know it's frustrating having to wait, but I'm more concerned about the quality of my writing than the quickness of my updates.

The Brod Road – thanks! I have a few ideas regarding their actual relationship, but I don't want to get ahead of myself. We'll just have to wait and see how everything with Malcolm turns out. In this AU, Dick and Victor, along with Kori, are Raven's bodyguard and chauffeur/escort/entourage type of people, and Gar has only just met them. They'll be getting to know each other a bit better in the future, but he hasn't invited them over just yet. 2000 words isn't necessarily _long_ for me, it's just longer than I want to make each chapter. My thinking is that if the chapters are shorter, I can crank them out faster.

Dragonofelder – everything will be _fine_. Probably. Hopefully.

Princess0Bunny – no worries there is more where that came from!

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"I am _really_ sorry." Logan stammered, embarrassed.

"It's fine." Raven replied indifferently. "I should apologize, I didn't realize you had guests."

"No! It's not a problem, we're really not doing anything important." He said quickly, glancing over his shoulder. "I'll be just a second."

Spinning on his heel, Logan rushed back inside to set down the pizza, his eyes landing on the one clear end of his coffee table. Of course, his place was a mess. It always turned out that way on movie night, with beer bottles, candy wrappers, and snacks thrown about. The only friend of his that cared to clean up after himself was Joey. Normally he wouldn't mind at all, but now he was _seriously_ regretting knowing any of them. Too late to do anything about it now, he just had to hope she didn't care too much about his home life.

To that end, he needed to move fast, before he or his friends did something embarrassing and possibly job threatening. She said she wanted something from the offices? He would have to get better clothes on if he was going to go to the Azarath building. The jeans could probably stay, late as it was, but he definitely should change his shoes and shirt. His mind worked furiously as he tried to work out the logistics of getting dressed, getting there, and getting back within a timely manner.

"Guys, I'm going to have to step out for a bit." He said, throwing the boxes down and racing to his room. "I should only be a little while, maybe an hour or so."

What did he have that was clean? His feet almost tripped as he entered his room, trying to kick off his slippers and remove his shirt at the same time. Riffling through his closet, he found a relatively clean and tidy looking button up shirt. Logan threw it on, and started doing the buttons as he walked back out.

"Ditching us for your lady friend, Gar?" He heard Roy say from the couch. "Not that I blame you, she's quite a looker."

Logan froze mid-step, his fingers on the third button down from his neck. He'd left the door open.

"Oh, I agree. Well done, Logan." Jade cooed, her head resting on Roy's chest as they lay snuggling. "Have we seen her around before? She looks kind of familiar."

Eyes comically wide, Logan slowly raised his gaze from the floor. Sure enough, there she was, just inside his threshold, and looking at one of his lame anime posters. Cringing inwardly, he tossed an anxious glance around the room. Hopefully she hadn't heard that last remark.

"Um, guys, this is _my boss_ , Raven Roth. Ms. Roth, these are my friends," He made eye contact with each of them so they would understand how critical this was, and then made the introductions. "Roy, Jade," he gestured to the couple lying on his coal gray couch. "Joey, Rose," the siblings sat separate from each other, the brother crosslegged on the ground and the sister in one of his navy blue lounge chairs. "Wally, and Jenny." They were on the ground with Joey, paging through a massive binder full of DVDs that sat on the coffee table.

Raven inclined her head. "It's a pleasure to meet you all." She said politely. "I'm sorry to intrude upon your evening."

"Hey, the pleasure's all ours, intrude all y'want!" Rose lifted a tumbler with a tiny orange umbrella in greeting, her words slightly slurred. The others were dead quiet, alternately staring between him and Raven. Of course, they recognized the name. You'd have to be dead, or _literally_ living under a rock to not have heard of her. The question now was, what next? He honestly never expected this situation to occur, so his brain was desperately trying to catch up. Raven, in his apartment? That had to be a joke, right?

Strangely enough, she seemed to be taking it all in stride. Or at least, she wasn't offended by their staring or comments. She took a few more steps into his apartment, her gaze drifting around the room with a curiously intense interest. Making that quiet 'hm' noise again, she looked at him.

Shaking off his momentary stupor, Logan approached her. She had said she needed documents. "You said you needed some documents?" He asked.

"Yes. The same ones I had earlier today." She said. "They should be on my desk in my office, inside a manila folder."

Logan checked his watch. He still had some time before the building closed down entirely. "Okay. I'll bring them up to your apartment–"

"No." Raven interrupted, and he looked at her in surprise. "I'll just stay here. No need for you to go running around more than necessary."

Blinking, he gave her curious look. Raven wasn't normally one to spare him extra work. "Okay… Then, uh, make yourself at home. I'll be back in just a moment."

He left his apartment scratching his head, with his friends looking petrified, and Raven standing in the middle of the room.

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Opening her office door, and flicking on the lights, Logan strode over to her desk. As she said, the documents she wanted were right there. He snatched up the manila folder, and quickly paged through to confirm its contents. Yup, definitely it. He slid everything into the messenger bag he had grabbed on the way out, and headed for the door. A buzzing from his pocket distracted him as he turned off the lights, and he pulled out his phone, afraid to see what it was.

 _Jenny: What the fuckity fuck, Gar?! You didn't say that you actually worked for Raven FUCKING Roth!_

Like he thought, it was a group message from his friends. They'd been blowing up his phone pretty much from the moment he left his apartment. Logan sighed, and prepared himself for the worst.

 _Wally: Yeah man, you said you worked at Azarath International, but you didn't say that your boss is an ultra mega hottie!_

 _Roy: Word._

 _Jenny: Did you just call another girl an ultra mega hottie in the same text group as your girlfriend?_

 _Wally: I am a healthy, heterosexual male with two working eyeballs and am entitled to my opinion._

 _Roy: Ditto._

 _Wally: Besides, you have nothing to worry about. You're, like, a SUPER ultra mega hottie._

 _Jenny:… You're lucky I've been drinking enough for that to work…_

 _Jade: You guys are missing the point._

 _Rose: And what's that?_

 _Jade: The questions this raises. Like, does she often show up unannounced?_

 _Rose: OMG._

 _Joey: I bet she does._

 _Rose: OMFG._

 _Joey: I bet she does all the time._

 _Roy: No way. Her, and Gar? No fucking way._

 _Jade: And if so, then what do they do?_

 _Wally: LOL getting in that "overtime", buddy?_

Logan grew red as he continued to scroll through the conversation, trying to think of a way to respond.

 _Jade: Oh, I bet he's always hard at work. ;)_

 _Rose: Guys, GUYS. This is just like Aladdin!_

 _Roy:… What?_

 _Rose: Cause she's a PRINCESS!_

 _Jenny: She's just rich, Rose. Not royalty._

 _Wally: Well, that's basically the same to us peasants, babe._

 _Joey: Wouldn't Gar have to be a thief then? Narratively speaking?_

 _Rose: Details, details! I'm flexible on the unimportant shit._

 _Jade: I'm waiting for a joke about a "magic" carpet ride._

 _Roy: More like mustache ride._

 _Rose: Hmmm… Kinky. I approve._

 _Joey: He'd have to grow a mustache first._

That was it. As he waited for the elevator, Logan typed in a reply before they could continue.

 _Gar: Jesus fucking Christ you guys… Please stop…_

 _Wally: Well look who decided to show up!_

 _Jenny: You have a lot of explaining to do, so you better start talking._

 _Rose: SPILL._

 _Gar: First of all, you guys are crazy. There's NOTHING going on between her and I._

 _Jade: We're waaaitiiing..._

Logan sighed in frustration. The elevator doors _dinged_ open, and he stepped inside. There was no getting around this. They would only continue to pester him for the rest of the night, and into the foreseeable future if he didn't tell them.

 _Gar: Fine! Fine. Can you tell me what she's doing before I begin? You guys aren't being assholes, right?_

 _Roy: No more than usual._

 _Joey: Everything's fine here. We're watching Die Hard. We made her some tea._

 _Gar: Good. That's good. Alright then, here goes…_

 _._

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Another cliffhanger! Had to cut this off here because it was getting too long, again. I'll get the hang of it one day. Leave me a review, and don't forget to follow and favorite!


	6. So I guess she's staying…?

xzxzxzx – I don't know, maybe she did maybe she didn't…

i-scream-for-bbrae – ha ha ha! Plans? Who do you think I am? I never have any plans!

The Brod Road – well, she did choose to stay… Any jokes or ideas anyone may have are welcome in my PM box, though I make no promises as to whether they'll be included or not. It's not so much that I'm worried about length, I'm just trying to adhere to a loose, once a week deadline I'm trying to do for the story. I didn't want to cut any ideas short because I was running out of time, so I just got the parts that I finished, polished them up a bit, and send them on their way.

Dragonofelder – she won't… Probably…

Golem XIV – yeah, Ms. Raven Roth doesn't let a lot stand in her way. Good business skill? Sure. Social skill? Not so much. Thanks!

Bearhow – stuff like that and fight scenes always come so easily to me. It's the constructing a good story to tether all the ideas in my head together that really stops me. But, I'm learning. Slowly.

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Walking into his apartment to see Raven sitting there was a shock to the system, even if Logan was already expecting it. She sat, as she always did, with an air of grace and elegance on the twin to Rose's chair, her hands wrapped around a steaming mug of tea. His favorite green mug, he noticed. He was suddenly grateful that he bought the tea, even though he didn't like it himself. It was an impulse buy, at the time. While stocking up at the grocery store, he had seen the kind that Raven had most often. With a shrug, he thought, 'why not?' And tossed the box into his cart. Upon trying a cup at home though, he decided that it wasn't for him. At least, not without copious amounts of sugar.

"Hey, look who's back!" Wally exclaimed from the floor, waving as Logan stepped into his apartment.

Ugh. His _friends_ , so-called. Even after he explained over and over, and in multiple ways that there was nothing going on with him and Raven, that there will never _be_ anything going on with him and her, they had still teased and heckled him about the beautiful woman now sitting in his home. Not that he had not had such thoughts himself, but he knew it to be purely fantasy.

Although, it _was_ unusual for Raven to just show up without warning, and it was downright _odd_ that she had almost insisted on staying here instead of returning to her own home. Especially considering how crummy his apartment was compared to hers.

Logan shook his head to rid it of the fanciful ideas that were starting to fill it.

"Hey guys, what's the word?" He greeted them, but his mind was focused on the task he been assigned.

As he approached, Raven turned to regard him with her striking violet eyes.

"They were on your desk, just as you said." He told her, drawing the documents from his messenger bag. "Is this everything?"

She rose from her seat, placing the mug on his coffee table, and reached out to take the manila folder in his hand. After a quick scan, she gave a curt nod. "Yes, everything seems to be in order."

"Is there anything else I can do?"

"No… No, there's nothing else."

Rose suddenly stood up from her chair. "Great! Then we can finally get this party started!" She slurred loudly before knocking back the rest of her beverage. "But first, I need to refresh my drink."

Logan eyed her as she made her way to the kitchen, trying not to blush as she nearly tripped over her brother, and then Jenny. Wally got up before the increasingly drunk woman got to him, saying something about also going to the kitchen for snacks.

"They, uh, they didn't do or say anything offensive while I was gone, did they?" Logan asked, resisting the urge to drag his hand down his face.

"No." Raven shook her head slightly. "They were quite accommodating in fact."

"Oh. That's good then." Relief flooded through Logan. A part of the him had thought for sure that tonight would end in the termination of his employment.

She slid the folder under one arm, then looked back around his apartment. Logan wanted to run around and quickly pick up all the garbage and dirty dishes, but forced himself to stay put. There was nothing he could really do at this point. Turning back to him, Raven drew in a silent breath, as if to say something, but stopped short. She looked puzzled, almost, and a little frustrated.

"Do you… Would you like to join us?"

He had no idea why he'd asked, the words simply tumbled from his lips before he could think. She must have better things to do. In fact, she had to come down to his apartment _because_ she had better and more important things to do. Logan expected Raven to say no.

But she didn't. She didn't say anything. Instead, she quietly lowered her gaze to the floor in between them.

After a moment, she gracefully retook her seat. Shocked, Logan turned to his friends, wide-eyed. They were every bit as lost as he was. But with no idea what else to do, they cautiously resumed their arguing over which movie they'd watch, albeit with a bit more reservation because of the unexpected new guest. For her part, Raven seemed genuinely interested in what they were doing, and watched them keenly as they eventually picked a movie.

They started the film, and he pulled a chair over to sit closer to Raven. In case she needed something, and so he could act as a buffer between her and his friends. No doubt they had a million questions for her, and they would only feel more inclined to ask them as they continued to drink. Alcohol wasn't called a social lubricant for nothing. Logan wasn't willing to submit her to their special brand of crass, even if she _had_ chosen to stay in his apartment.

Which was not _at all_ how he expected this night to go.

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As the credits to the third movie started scrolling up the screen, Logan cast his drowsy gaze around the room. It seemed like each of his friends were asleep. And they were the ones that insisted on playing this last one. Oh well. He stood, and stretched, just about ready to pass out himself.

"That was interesting." Raven murmured, still watching the TV screen. Her head rested at a slight angle, propped up on one side by her hand in a strangely ponderous position, as if what they had been watching required intense thought to understand.

"Yeah, Spirited Away is a pretty good one. Definitely in my top twenty." He half-yawned. Whether because of proximity or time, at some point he'd gotten over the shock of having Raven in his home. It wasn't so strange having her there, after he thought about it. Or rather, as long as he didn't think about it. At all. "The artistry and imagery is just stunning, and I love all the wild concepts they introduce along the way. The world they created is so unique."

"Mmm. That black spirit, No-Face, was especially intriguing." She went on. "It was almost disturbing to see the slow degradation of such a seemingly innocent character."

Logan hummed his agreement, his mood mellow in the early morning hours. "Yeah, he's a really memorable character. Was this the first time you've seen it?"

She nodded. "I don't watch much television. If I do, I usually pick a documentary."

"Oh man, you are _missing out_." He was astonished. Seriously, _documentaries_? "There are _so_ many good movies out there!"

"Perhaps." She nodded again, peering into the green mug she held. "Perhaps I'll have you show me more of them."

"Sure. Any time." Logan said it reflexively, before he had actually processed her words. Then it hit him a second later, and his eyes opened wide. Wait, Raven wanted to see more of his nerdy movies?

"I should go home." She tried to hide an adorable yawn, high-pitched and quiet, covering her mouth with one delicate hand. He could tell she was trying to resist the urge to stretch. It was odd, but also a little thrilling to see her so… normal.

"Okay, um, let me walk you back." He started towards the door.

"It's just to my apartment." She waved him away, yawning again as she followed him. "There's no need."

Logan opened the door for her. "Yeah, but it's the principle of the thing." He smiled, but truthfully didn't quite know why he felt so compelled to escort her home.

She blinked once, was quiet for a moment, then stepped out into the hall. "Fine."

He followed her out without a word, still smiling. They walked in silence down the hall, and around the corner to the elevators. Logan tried to think of things to talk about, but was drawing a blank. What does one talk about with an upper-class lady? Probably not collectible action figures. The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open before he could follow that thought further, so he simply stepped inside with Raven. Yachting? Rich people do yachting, right? But wait, did she even own a yacht?

"Your apartment…"

"Hmm?" Logan looked up, pulled out of his thoughts by her voice.

Raven fiddled with the hem of her cardigan. "It's very… colorful. Vibrant."

Logan raised his eyebrows, and then smiled, embarrassed. "I suppose so. Most people just say it's messy."

"It is, but…" She looked up and met his eyes. "It suits you."

"Thank you?" For some reason, that made him smile wider. "… So, I know you said they were all right, but if my friends said or did anything insulting…"

"No, your friends were quite polite. Lively, but polite."

The elevator dinged again, and they stepped out into the hall on Raven's floor.

"May I ask you a question?" She asked after a moment.

"Certainly."

"Why do your friends call you Gar?"

Logan repressed a grimace. He'd really hoped he could get through the night without having to explain that. "Well, it's, um, a nickname." He glanced at her, only to see her gazing at him, quietly waiting for more of an explanation. One of his hands came up to rub the back of his neck, the other shoving into his pocket, as he sighed in embarrassed reluctance. "Because my first name is Garfield." He said dejectedly.

"Garfield?" She actually sounded amused. "Like the cat?"

He nodded glumly. "Yeah. I don't particularly like it, so my friends call me Gar. But it's not exactly professional to introduce yourself with a nickname, so for work I just go by my last name."

"Hm." Raven hummed, looking forward again.

Well, she hadn't laughed, which Logan took as a win.

In a few more steps, they reached her apartment door, and as she let herself in, he remembered she had originally come to his door because of work. Work that she had not done.

"Um, I'm sorry about…" He paused, not sure why he was apologizing. After all, he hadn't forced her to sit through three movies. "Well, distracting you from your work." Better safe than sorry, right?

"Oh…" Raven paused in her threshold, half turned towards him, looking at the manila folder in her hand with an expression that almost resembled surprise, or maybe wonder. A few seconds passed by with neither of them moving. Logan glanced to either end of the hall, getting uncomfortable. He was about to say something when she finally moved again. "It's fine, I'll just… do it another time." She said with a wave of her hand.

"If you need help tomorrow, you can just call. It's no problem." He offered.

"No, no." She dismissed his offer with a shake of her head. "Enjoy your weekend."

"Okay."

Putting her hand on her door knob, she paused again, her eyes drifting to meet his. Instantly, Logan felt a tingly, burning sensation flare to life in his gut, and his breath catch in his chest.

Clearing his throat a little, he gave her a little wave. "Good night, Ms. Roth."

"Good night… Gar."

She closed the door.

For a full three minutes after, Logan stood there with a grin plastered on his face, unaware of the woman on the other side of the door, watching him through her peephole.

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Aren't they just adorable? Let me know what you think. Follow favorite review! And be sure to check out my other stuff!


	7. Another day at the office

whazzat? Consistent and timely updates? Never heard of 'em LOL.

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Logan hated numbers. Like, really hated numbers. His eye twitched as he glared at the spreadsheet laid out on his desk. Today had been an exercise in patience for him, as he had been going over accounts and transactions for the majority of it. He had gone over it backwards and forwards, up and down, side to side, in the computer _and_ by hand. And all he had to show for it was a pounding headache because the numbers wouldn't. _Fucking_. Cooperate. With a groan, Logan slumped forward onto his desk with all the grace of a tranquilized llama.

" _Koriiii!_ " He whined into the papers, voice muffled. " _Heeelp!_ "

Seated across the room at her own desk, Kori continued to hum cheerily, looking at him briefly. "Yes?" She responded. "What is it you need help with?"

Without lifting his head up from the desk, Logan grabbed a random sheet, and waved it in the air glumly. "Maaath." He complained.

She giggled, and let out a sigh. "Bring it here then."

He was across the room in a heartbeat. "Thanks Kori. I've been staring at numbers all day, and I'm just about ready to pull the hair from my head." He told her with a tired chuckle.

The gorgeous redhead smiled and nodded good-naturedly. "Of course, of course. This type of work can take a surprising amount of energy."

Logan blew out a tired breath. "You're telling me."

Leaning on her desk with one hand, Logan quietly watched as she scanned over the paperwork he'd brought to her attention. He let his mind wander as his gaze began to drift, thinking about everything and nothing. About what he would make for dinner later on, about his apartment and what posters to put up in which rooms. He thought about his job, how happy he was with it, and about the people he worked with. About Kori, and about Dick, and how funny it was to watch them awkwardly talk.

Which led him to thoughts of skin the color of moonlight, and ethereal violet eyes. Of a voice that spoke his name in a husky, and yet strangely seductive monotone.

"Gar."

 _Yeah._ He smiled. _Just like that._

"Gar, stop smiling like an idiot. I require your assistance."

Logan was pulled out of his reverie, and he blinked his eyes, confused. "Huh?"

One of her eyebrows was slightly arched as she stood in front of him. Raven Roth. His _boss_.

"Oh, um, of course. Anything you need, Ms. Roth." Logan tried not to trip over his words as he straightened up from his relaxed position.

For a moment, she didn't do anything. Just watched him with those fathomless eyes. Then she held out a sheet of paper.

"I need you to run this down to R&D. Tell them we have to move up the deadline."

Taking the paper, Logan looked at it briefly, gave a curt nod, then turned on his heel to make his way towards the elevators. As he left the office, he smiled.

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"You've been doing that a lot recently." Kori noted as she resumed looking over Logan's work.

"Doing what, exactly?" Raven returned, still looking at the door.

"Ordering him around."

Raven turned towards her secretary, arching her eyebrow again. "And? I'm his employer, he's my employee."

"Maybe." Kori looked up from her desk and rested her chin in one of her hands. "But a simple call would've sufficed for that." She pointed towards the door with her pen.

"What are you trying to say…?" Raven narrowed her eyes slightly.

Kori leaned back in her chair, a little knowing smile adorning her face. "Just that it's a little odd for you. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you want to talk to him, but don't quite know what to say."

It was barely noticeable, but the left side of Raven's mouth came down ever so slightly in a frown. She narrowed her eyes even more as she glared daggers at her lifelong friend and adopted sister. "Well then. It's a good thing you know better."

"Hmm, quite."

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Guest person – hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing even though it's been months since I've updated.

DoodleMeNow – I knooow. Hopefully this will help you forgive me, and I thank you for your patience.

Guest – uuuh, wanna bet? LOL

Iecoma – thanks! Yeah, the jokes a pretty great.

Hate Eater – I know right? It's fun writing him to be completely oblivious. I'll think about it

xzxzxzx – here you go!

Dragon of elder – thanks!

Guest – IKR?

Dark Azarathian – it's okay, as long as you forgive me for disappearing off the face of the earth for these last few months…

I-scream-for-BBRae – ha ha ha thanks! Stick around, maybe your questions will be answered?

Bearhow – aren't they just, though?

Golem – ha ha the image is pretty much exactly that.

Lou Buggins – I'm glad you're enjoying it! This version of Raven it is even more socially stunted than normal, for various reasons that I will be alluding to. Stick around!

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This took entirely too long to come out, and I am so so so so SO sorry! Hopefully a few of you are still lingering around? Give me a shout.


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